There is no god except Allah and Muhammad is His Messenger.

There is no god except Allah and Muhammad is His Messenger.

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Unity against hate crimes, whether racial, religious or nationalistic. Unity against the tyranny of oppressive governments and financial terrorists. Unity does not mean you give up all that you believe but agree that some things have gone too far and has to stop.

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Monday 27 December 2010

My thoughts on early marriages/sex.


So let me ask myself a few questions first of all before making some further points.

Do I think it is ok for a grown man to have sex with a 6 year old? No, I don't but if you are referring to the Prophet Muhammad this is not the case. Nor can it be proven that he married and had sex with her at that age. The age stated in some places is 9 and in other places older than this, so it is open to debate. Not all Muslims accept the same source books. The only book, amongst Shia and Sunnis, that is accepted from cover to cover 100% is the holy Quran, everything else can be accepted or rejected. And in the Quran it does not mention the Prophet's age of marriage nor the age of the youngest wife he married.

Do I think that it is ok for a grown man to marry a nine year old or a 14 year old? Most men are not fit to marry girls of that age so I would not be accepting of it. I would be concerned even to give my own daughter to a man at that age. But the Prophet is an exception I would have no worries at all in that case. Because it is an issue of trust and peace of mind. His role, responsibilities and general outlook on life does not compare to that of billions of men. A real man is cognizant of certain dangers, challenges and benefits in the rearing and growth of the young. Mental health and stability, education, spiritual health, physical health, sexual and emotional health. When a man can adequately cater for these areas in a woman's life then that shows how organised a man is and how he prioritises. Not a man that only has his own interests at heart like his stomach, his wealth and his sexual desires.

Would I allow my daughter to marry at 15, 14 or younger? I live in the UK so no. But there are exceptions to every general rule. Depending on the law of the country at the time, depending on her interest in boys and her maturity and depending on the potential partner. So my no could turn into a yes, it is not an outright no, but a cautious no. I would sooner her marry young than fall into fornication, pregnancy out of wedlock and sexual diseases as a result of early sexual experiments.

What do I think of laws that only allow sex within marriage above the age of 16? I think it does more harm than good. Young people are a large portion of society, just giving them condemns is not responsible enough. I think the age of parental consent should be reduced to allow those who think they are ready a greater say and choice in the matter. Teenagers can still live within the parents houses until they are able to work and meet the costs of living by themselves. The only difference would be that although they are married they do not live by themselves yet.

What do I think of sex outside marriage? Definite no no. I consider fornication immoral. You only have to look at what happens in many cases in terms of longevity of these types of relationships. Does that mean that people who fornicate cannot have loving and long term relationships? No it does not and some of them probably do, but the point is whether or not they have children it has its problems one of which is security and reprehensibility. A common law wife in the UK does not have the same rights to inheritance and property rights etc as a legally recognised wife. The same applies in Islam, just shacking up with someone for a long time in love does not carry the same weight as being married. It will always be immoral as long as the heavens and the earth remain. That's my freedom of speech you can disagree all you like.

Some people do not have an issue with fornication no matter what the age of the person. So even though a man is not allowed to marry a girl of 14 or 16 if the age difference is more than two years or if he has a position of influence, it is ok for another boy of 14 or 16 to have it off with a girl of similar age. And if they have a child it is ok to kill the foetus. And return to do the same thing with another girl. Abortion and fornication are lawful but marrying and looking after a girl under 16 is unlawful. At least a man marrying a man is lawful and a woman marrying a woman is lawful.... so modernity must be walking in the right direction???

In Islam early marriage is highly recommended because of issues like sex and companionship that young people find hard to resist, because it is a human need and urge just like the desire to eat and drink; its natural.That is not the same as saying every man must go out and marry young girls, Islam does not say that. It all depends on many circumstances. Not all potential Muslim brides and grooms are going to want the same thing.


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